Before we get into how to breakup with someone you love, let’s first focus on the why. All relationships need to be nurtured in order to sustain them, after all, so how can you recognize when it’s just not working anymore?
Firstly, you want to ask yourself if you’ve really given the relationship a fair shot. You might opt to take a break from the relationship and realize that you don’t want to breakup after all, or perhaps one of you is going through a temporary tough time that will pass. Maybe you’re actively working with a couple’s counselor, things are improving, and you both want to save the relationship.
To that end, according to licensed marriage therapist Weena Cullins, LCMFT, your overall wellbeing is the most important factor to consider when assessing whether to end the relationship.
“While all intimate relationships are subject to experiencing rough patches at different times, choosing to remain in a relationship that consistently causes you stress or compromises your physical, emotional, or mental health isn’t the best choice,” Cullins previously told mindbodygreen.
And as licensed psychotherapist Babita Spinelli, L.P. adds, it’s entirely possible to know that someone isn’t a healthy fit for you, even if you love who they are.
That said, if you can’t see a future with this person, they’re weighing you down more than lifting you up, or you’re holding out for them to change, it’s probably time to let the relationship go. (Here’s our full guide to knowing when it’s time to breakup for more information.)
Now, if you’re sure that it’s time to part ways, here’s how to do it.