Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin shocked a whole bunch of people when they took the plunge and got engaged over two years ago. At the time, Justin and Hailey were 24 and 21 respectively, which meant that a certain section of the population definitely thought they were way too young to get hitched.
However, others’ opinions did not matter to them one bit as they decided to officially have a wedding a year later on September 30, 2019. It’s not even been a year since their wedding ceremony but they’ve been thick as thieves. Sure, a lot of that has to do with the current circumstances and how it’s gotten everyone to get really close to their partners for better or worse.
But what’s different for Justin and Hailey is that they’re two highly-famous individuals learning to grow up together whilst married to each other. Marriage is likely not going to be an easy road for them, and there’s been some rumble recently that the two are finding out more about themselves and each other over the course of their marriage.
A lot of people are wondering whether they were too naive to make such big decisions about their lives so early on. The new revelations that have emerged recently certainly also make us wonder whether they can tough it out as a couple in the long term.
What we have to remember that Justin and Hailey Bieber are going through the same motions as a lot of newly-weds. So what have been the big challenges in their marriage and how is the young couple moving through them?
Hailey felt guilty as soon as she got married
In an interview with Natalie Manuel Lee at the Hillsong channel, Hailey got real about the struggles she experienced in the early months of her marriage with Justin. She said that that first couple of months made her reflect on her former mistakes and bad decisions. The failures of her first relationships haunted her and even made her feel inferior as she was navigating a new way of life with Justin.
Hailey said that being raised in a Christian household led to her putting extra pressure on herself on being a “good girl.” This paved the way for guilt, as it took shape almost as a voice in her head that was continuously judging her for own decisions and failures.
Probably for the first six or seven months of being married, I was just ridden with guilt. I wish I hadn’t done this. I wish I had just walked into this clean and free and clean slate but what it taught me is that it’s A, not realistic, and B, we all have guilt and we all shame for things we’ve done but it doesn’t have to define who we are and it didn’t have to define me in my relationship.
Hailey Bieber on Hillsong
Striving to be the ultimate goody-two-shoes ultimately proved to be unrealistic for Hailey. She understood that it was not practical to strive for such a strict moral code of behavior. Everyone hopes that they went about differently with their past, that they could have avoided making those damaging decisions or mistakes.
But marriage taught Hailey that all her regrettable decisions and failures in life ultimately brought her to the present day: being a wife to Justin Bieber, a role she immensely cherishes.
What I learned being married is that every mistake that I made and every bad decision I made—everything I was making myself feel guilty for—actually led to me getting married and it led to me being a wife.
Hailey Bieber on Hillsong
Hailey said we are all evolving on a daily basis as individuals, so her past doesn’t define her one bit. Who she was even a year ago should have no bearing to who she is today. And this would still hold if she wasn’t necessarily married.
For Hailey, getting married was like jumping off the Grand Canyon
In the same interview, Hailey also sheds light on the seriousness of marriage and what it means to her. She maintained that marriage, as we all know, is not to be taken lightly. It’s not a joke and it’s a constant battle.
One of the biggest battles she continues to overcome in her marriage is the amount of shame she feels upon remembering her past. And those things tend to explode when you’re in a new relationship and you’re trying to be a good partner to your spouse.
Ultimately, I can sit here and tell you I don’t have anything to be ashamed of. I really don’t. For some reason, shame was the biggest one that was clinging to me…I know it’s something that I’ll always have to battle forever. [But] I go through a completely different process now when I feel shame about something.
Hailey Bieber in Hillsong
Something that’s helped Hailey to approach her mistakes in a more positive way is her and Justin’s mutual love for the Christian faith. Hailey, in particular, realized that serving God isn’t about performance or putting on a show for others. Therefore, it’s become easier for her to not beat herself up about the regret and remorse that’s built up over the years.
Hailey said that a lot took place within the first seven months of their marriage. Justin’s health, for example, led to some trying times for the couple, but Hailey allowed her faith to guide her. She knew that her God wouldn’t put her in a position that she wouldn’t be able to handle.
Her responsibilities got tough, so Hailey had to find a way to stop letting her past torment so severely and just appreciate herself for how much she’s evolved.
I’ve just watched [Justin] evolve in the last year and I’ve watched our relationship evolve in a way that I know was only possible because Jesus is in the center of it.
Hailey Bieber in Hillsong
The marriage proved to be a challenging process for Hailey, as it was all new and she claims she’d never had this serious of a relationship before. It may have been weird at the beginning, she said, but knowing that this was the person that she’d chosen to love forever helped her gain perspective on the situation.
People are growing and evolving together when they’re married, not only as individuals but as a couple. Justin and Hailey had to go through the same trials and tribulations that any newly married couple faces.
I was learning him…I was getting to know this new person. [Justin] was getting to know this new person. We both were just trusting. “Hey, I believe you’re for me, so we’re doing this thing.”
Hailey Bieber in Hillsong
Justin wished he had saved himself for marriage
Hailey is not the only one in the relationship who has made some life-changing realizations as a result of getting married. Justin, who has had a very publicized troubled past, also said that if he could go back in time, he would do things differently.
If I could go back and not have to face some of the bad hurt that I went through, I probably would’ve saved myself for marriage.
Justin Bieber on The Biebers On Watch
More specifically, he came to realize that his past relationships had only made things more confusing and did not necessarily help his state of mind. “Sex can be kind of confusing when you’re just being sexually active with anybody. We went there. It’s just true,” he revealed.
Of course, Justin is speaking of his own personal experiences, which are not necessarily universal to everyone. Yet, it takes a lot of maturing to come to such a realization, especially in an industry where men are expected to behave recklessly.
Hailey also came to a similar conclusion, as she listened to her husband’s words. “I do agree with the fact that being physical with someone can make things more confusing,” she concurred.
Relationship realizations are common but you should embrace them
Hailey had to evaluate a bunch of things from her life upon getting married to Justin. When you’re exploring a new relationship, you’re not just getting to know another person in a different way — you’re also getting to know yourself through a whole different lens as well. Chances are that we’ll all feel guilty about things that have transpired in the past. Mistakes have been made in everyone’s life, but there is a limit to how much guilt we should subject ourselves to.
Hailey looked to her faith to get her through the hard times and the torturous feelings of guilt and shame. We may find inspiration elsewhere and it doesn’t change the fact: we’re not the same people we were in the past. There is always room to grow and our lives have more meaning than the failures and the decisions we’ve made in the past.
Realizations that occur in a new relationship are all too common. Justin and Hailey’s relationship proves that they have the sensibility to understand their past and support each other the best way they can.
Just because they’re young doesn’t mean they’re any less equipped to deal with these issues. On the same principle, we should know that there’s always a way to deal with our internal challenges and that we should embrace these revelations wholeheartedly because that means that we are more aware of our feelings. And that we can actually take measures to address them.
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